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  • Lusya Engen & Maya Sood

Typewriters and Tea: Remembering and Forgetting

Hi, everyone! It’s Maya and Lusya here. We are new to Scribbling and are extremely eager to write for all of our readers. Our column, “Typewriters and Tea,” will focus on literature and writing. Each issue will be different and will range from creative writing to book reviews. We have so many ideas and cannot wait to share all of our work with you! Enjoy our first creative writing pieces titled, “I wish i could forget” and “I wish i could remember.”

I wish i could forget... By Maya Sood

I wish i could forget how you used to hug me. It wasn’t even the feeling of content; it was the knowing. I knew that i was understood. I knew that you shared my pain. I knew that we were equals. At least i thought we were. Now i’m uncertain.

I wish i could forget all the words. You know the words that i’m talking about: the sharp ones, the jagged ones, the rusty ones. I fear words. I fear their power. They can make me crumple before them: broken into pieces. I shatter because the worst words are always spoken by the people i love.

I wish i could forget how much you meant to me. I treasured you. I loved you, but I don’t think you loved me back. If you did, you didn’t love me to the extent that i loved you.

I wish i could forget their faces, full of sorrow. They didn’t understand. No one could.

I wish i could forget how tangled my hands got, fingers twisted. It was so painful; i thought they would crack. And the noises...the noises were horrifying.

I wish i could forget all the hurt i’ve caused. The ability to destroy others is terrifying. It’s terrifying when you have that emotional hold over another living being; i don’t want it.

I wish i could forget the tears you cried while i held your limp body. Your pain leaked out of you, surrounding me in grey mist. It obscured everything. I wanted to help. I wanted to take it away from you: claim it and make it mine. But i couldn’t.

I wish i could forget my panic. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t express anything. So i just sat there with my head between my knees while you watched.

I wish i could forget all of the bad. But i wouldn’t be me without it.

I wish i could remember... By Lusya Engen

I wish i could remember how you were supposed to treat me. Remember who i really was. Not a mistake. Not a burden in your life. Only a girl wanting you to love her.

I wish i could remember how life was before you came. Your presence showed up in disguise, playing a role never meant for you. Was this time peaceful? Without you? I know for sure there was less pain. You caused that.

I wish i could remember the good memories of you. But there are none because in this story, the wrongs outweigh the rights.

At least i made it out alive. I came out strong because of you. But I don’t thank you for that. I was the one who chose to make the best and fight. Fight for who i was. Fight for my existence in this lonely world. I don’t cry for you anymore. But did i ever cry for you? I think i only cried for someone i wished i had.

I know you think of me. But i can’t think of you. Too many things to forget. Only things I wish i could remember. Instead, i will remind you of what you missed out on. I will make you suffer in the same way you made me suffer.

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