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  • Eden Halpert & Lily Schmandt

Bloggers Just Can’t and Yearn for Early Retirement

This Week’s Unexciting News!

Welcome to the Potato!

Bethesda, MD -- Eden Halpert and Lily Schmandt are tired. They just can’t even.

Lily has spent the last four days in an airbnb in a bed so uncomfortable that she probably would have been better off sleeping on a rock. She was also cheated out of lunch today because an exceedingly annoying woman in line at the to-go restaurant in the Austin airport cared way too much about the different sizes of parfaits, and her dad forced her out of the store to get in line to board, even though they were not boarding yet. They also ended up having to sit on the plane for an hour because it was broken. Everything worked out in the end because she got to spend most of her flight watching an inspirational Netflix original entitled “Walk. Ride. Rodeo.” about a young rodeo star, Amberley, who gets in a tragic car accident that leaves her paralyzed from the waist down. That doesn’t stop Amberley though! She goes on to have a very successful rodeo career. Unfortunately, this inspirational movie did little to impact Lily’s own motivation, and she still finds herself struggling to feel motivated to do anything other than sleep and eat. Spending time with her grandparents this week, she was really able to hone in on her Scrabble skills by making a 41-point word and a seven letter word in the course of one game. Lily was able to see herself in this lifestyle and longs for the days when she will be able to sit at home and do nothing but play Scrabble.

Unlike Lily, Eden has actually enjoyed a pleasant and productive weekend but still is tired and her back kinda hurts. She had a lovely day at the Connie Morella Library on Saturday, where she completed much of her homework in an efficient, timely manner. She spent the early evening playing a new game she found in her basement called “Kerplunk.” She reports that she was not very good at the game and lost many rounds of “Kerplunk” to her younger brother. She went to bed early in her fluffy bed and watched a Tina Fey and Amy Poehler movie about two unlikely friends in Philadelphia. In the movie, Fey portrays an executive at an organic food company. Consequently, Eden started craving avocado toast. On Sunday, she enjoyed with her family a leisurely day that included a breakfast of avocado toast. This blissful, relaxing weekend also makes her yearn for early retirement and the lovely lifestyle that most retired people enjoy. Eden’s one dissatisfaction about this weekend was daylight savings time, which is purely annoying.

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